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Shoddy Shysters

Who’s Naughty …

Posted on December 28, 2007 3:53 pm by JRV Comment

Now here’s a story that sweetly illustrates the concept of the punishment suiting the crime. It was even self-inflicted!

Burglar, not Santa, found stuck up a chimney in Australia

Published: Friday, December 28, 2007 | 1:30 AM ET

Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SYDNEY, Australia – It wasn’t Santa Claus but a would-be burglar rescue workers found stuck up a chimney in central Australia on Friday.

Staff at the Gapview Hotel in Alice Springs heard a man groaning when they arrived for work in the hotel bar and called the fire department. The man had been stuck inside the chimney for about 10 hours with his knees jammed tightly into his chest, said local fire station officer Mark James.

“He was like a grub in a cocoon when we found him,” James said.

“He was really wedged in there.”

Firefighters and ambulance officers spent 90 minutes trying to free the man before finally removing part of the chimney with jackhammers.

“Imagine being in the tightest ball you can (make) and being in that position for 10 hours,” James said.

“He was pretty embarrassed and ashamed, so he didn’t say much when we got him out. He was obviously feeling sore and sorry for himself.”

The man’s identity was not immediately released and it was not clear if he would be charged with any offence.



Is it still the right thing if you do it for the wrong reason?

Posted on December 12, 2007 3:27 pm by JRV Comment

Probably. Guess it doesn’t matter if you figure God, Big Brother or all your peers are watching if it prompts one to go in the right direction! We need more heros.

Worried about how he’d look on YouTube, NJ donut shop employee clobbers thief

Published: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 | 8:26 AM ET

Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

ELMWOOD PARK, N.J. – When a thief started taking cash from his register on the weekend, Dunkin’ Donuts employee Dustin Hoffmann fought back by clobbering the man with a ceramic mug.

But Hoffmann admits he was less worried about the stolen cash than how he might look on the video-sharing site YouTube.

“What was going through my mind at that point was that the security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head, so I just grabbed the cup and clocked the guy pretty hard,” Hoffmann told The Record of Bergen County.

The man came into the shop and ordered a pastry Sunday night, according to Elmwood Park Police Chief Donald Ingrasselino.

Once Hoffmann opened the register, the man jumped over the counter and started taking cash.

Police said Hoffmann grabbed the man’s wrists while hitting him with the mug, which is used to hold tips. Hoffmann managed to scare away the man, who made out with just $90 and left behind a baseball cap police are holding to test for DNA evidence.

No arrests have been made. Hoffman plans to post the surveillance video when he can.

“There are only a few videos like that on YouTube now, so mine’s going to be the best,” he said. “That’ll teach this guy.”



Another Shoddy Shyster

Posted on November 22, 2007 3:50 pm by JRV Comment

Burglar in Bosnia arrested after homeowner finds him sleeping on the job.

Published: Thursday, November 22, 2007 | 9:57 AM ET

Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SARAJEVO, Bosnia-Herzegovina – Perhaps it was a problem with working nights.

But a burglar who broke into a house in Bosnia is now in jail after a homeowner discovered him sleeping on the job. Police in the central Bosnia town of Maglai say the suspect, identified only as 21-year-old Edin M., confessed to snatching two bracelets.

But before leaving, he decided to sit down on a couch to rest and then promptly fell asleep.



Cheque Your ID

Posted on September 12, 2007 1:07 pm by JRV Comment

For a currently sloppy blogger such as I, cut and pasting these humourous attempts at crime is the easy way out.  This seems to be turning into a shoddy shyster archive …

 

Bank robber used his own cheque to write note demanding money: FBI

Published: Tuesday, September 11, 2007 | 10:02 PM ET

Canadian Press

ENGLEWOOD, Colorado (AP) – Authorities say a man robbing a Colorado bank demanded money by writing a note on one of his own cheques.

Not surprisingly, he was caught soon afterward. Authorities say Forest Kelly Bissonnette, 27, apparently tried to cover his name on the cheque, then handed the note to a teller September 5 at the Bank of the West in Englewood.

Nearly five thousand dollars U-S was taken.

Surveillance video shows a suspect similar to Bissonnette’s description and a tipster says a man named Forest Kelly claimed he got five thousand dollars in a bank robbery.

Bissonnette remained in federal custody Tuesday after turning himself in Friday.

A public defender was to be appointed for Bissonnette, who doesn’t have a listed phone number.

© The Canadian Press, 2007



Take That!

Posted on September 11, 2007 1:54 pm by JRV Comment

Police say Minnesota robber licked woman’s toes before fleeing

Published: Tuesday, September 11, 2007 | 1:54 AM ET

Canadian Press

ST. PAUL, Minnesota (AP) – Police in Minnesota say a man who robbed a woman of her keys and cellphone took off her shoes and licked her toes.

Commander Kevin Casper calls the attack weird sexual behaviour. Authorities say the 24-year-old woman was leaving work around 1 a.m. Saturday when the 27-year-old suspect approached her and demanded her keys and phone. After that, he removed her shoes. Police say the woman was not hurt.

Police arrested the man a few minutes later about four blocks away.

The woman identified the suspect and police were able to recover her keys and phone.

The man was in custody but it was not clear whether he had been formally charged.

© The Canadian Press, 2007




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