Some headlines really say it all.
Man found with backseat corpse faces 2nd-degree murder charge
this is wrong in so many ways.
Mystery Factory
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Shoddy Shysters
Oil Slick
This woman got covered in it – metaphorically speaking.
45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packets of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police Brasher later said that she didn’t realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
Don’t Spit
Thanks to the Canadian / Associated Press for continuing to bring us these juicy bits of ineptness from around the world. Who said all news was serious? Unfortunately it is listed under ‘diversions’ most of the time, but media reality is subjective in any case as this quote so wittily states:
“Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ” Ben Hecht
But back to the story …
German robber nabbed after leaving behind telltale DNA on salami chunk
Published: Thursday, January 31, 2008 | 10:26 AM ET
Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BERLIN – German police have charged a robbery suspect after matching his DNA to that found on a piece of salami spat out at a crime scene.
The bitten-off chunk of the telltale sausage was discovered at a building that had been broken in to in the southern city of Darmstadt in April.
Police say the 37-year-old man was taken into custody in early January after police ran his name through their computers at a highway spot-check and found he was wanted for several other crimes.
Once in custody, he was linked to the Darmstadt break-and-enter through the DNA sample on the salami and charged.
But it seems the rejected meat was not the robber’s only slip up: he has been charged with a total of 19 break-ins after other links were found.
The man, whose name was not released, remains in custody while police investigate.
Dumb and Dumber Down Under Got the Dough
I don’t know why there are so many bad movies out these days when writers only have to read the headlines for inspiration. Take this dynamic duo for example: what on earth could be the back story to inspire such desperate measures on their part, much less carry a loaded gun. Surely this pair would be better off….well … writing situation comedies.
‘Pair of fools’ jailed in bungled burglary in Australia
Published: Monday, January 21, 2008 | 10:29 PM ET
Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
MELBOURNE, Australia – Two Australian robbers thought they were hauling away a big sack of cash from the Cuckoo Restaurant but it turned out to be bread rolls – and one of them accidentally shot the other in the buttocks during the heist.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and his accomplice Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced Tuesday after pleading guilty to robbing the restaurant in the southern Australian city Melbourne on April 1 last year.
During the April Fools Day holdup, Jorgensen grabbed what he believed was a bag with the Cuckoo’s daily take of about $27,000 in cash but later found it was full of bread rolls, the Victorian County Court heard.
He also fired his gun accidentally during the heist, shooting Hayes in the buttocks.
Judge Roland Williams told the robbers they were a “pair of fools,” before sentencing Hayes to eight years in prison and Jorgensen to seven.
Earlier this week, defence lawyer Greg Thomas said Jorgensen had been under the influence of drugs at the time, had made a full admission to police and was remorseful, News Ltd. newspapers reported.
© The Canadian Press, 2008
His own worst enemy
Story ideas. They’re everywhere. And this particular little nugget proves that the ‘Peter Principal’ applies to the criminal as well as the corporate world.
Police: Indiana man accidentally shoots himself during store robbery
Published: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 | 10:07 AM ET
Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
KOKOMO, Ind. – Oh, shoot!
Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store on Tuesday.
A clerk told police a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes.
The clerk put the cash in a bag and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge.
Police say surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants.
A short time later, police found 25-year-old Derrick Kosch at a home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg.
The clerk wasn’t injured.
Kosch was released from the hospital Tuesday and booked into the Howard County jail on a charge of armed robbery, criminal recklessness and battery. He is being held on a $100,000 cash bail. A jail official did not know if he had retained an attorney Wednesday.