Mayhem Parva & Other Cosy Quotes

Mayhem Parva is a fictional village setting, coined by mystery historian Colin Watson. In his book A Snobbery With Violience;  Watson reviewed mysteries by writers from the first half of the 20th century – why they were popular and what their books say about the prejudices of the time. But all of that sociology aside Mayhem Parva is:

“The setting for the crime stories by what we might call the Mayhem Parva school would be a cross between a village and a commuters’ dormitory in the South of England, self-contained, and largely self-sufficient. It would have a well-attended church, an inn with reasonable accommodation for itinerant detective-inspectors, a village institute, library and shops – including a chemist’s where weed killer and hair dye might conveniently be bought.”

John le Carre adds this about setting:
“If you describe a Secret Service and impose upon it the same ground rules of behavior as you would upon an English country house, you quickly get the reader with you. So these are bits of ammunition that are available to an English writer, and properly used, are pure gold, in my experience.”

And finally Diana Rigg (Remember her as  the marvelous Mrs. Peel from the Avengers?) while hosting Masterpiece Theatre had this to say:
“A cozy mystery refers to stories that take place in closed, often serene settings. An unexpected act of violence shatters the peace. A small group of characters falls under suspicion and a heroic detective arrives to solve the crime. Are usually solved within a short period of time, a week or two at the most.   In general the solution is usually in plain sight from start to finish. And the killer has been onstage throughout. Motives are clear and simple. Somebody hates fears or envies somebody else or else stands to inherits a lot of money. One by one suspects are considered and eliminated, although the detective will occasionally find himself in a blind alley.”

 

Locked Room Mysteries

After having immersed myself in locked room mysteries I have come to the conclusion that most of the deceptions involve an accomplice – who usually ends up dead. In one entertaining story, The Triple Lock’d Room by Lillian de la Torre – the locked room had been searched prior to leaving the terrified victim alone to sleep and no one was found to be hiding. No one full size that is as the murderer turned out to be a dwarf type person masquerading as a child. Spaces a child could fit in where not searched and therefore the killer escaped detection. This picture, from a 1926 Chatterbox reminded me of the story, though it has nothing to do with it.

On the subject of locked rooms, I like what Michael Collins has to say in No One Likes to Be Played For a Sucker. “The locked room is an exercise in illusion – a magician’s trick. Otherwise it’s impossible, and the impossible can’t be done, period. Since it had been done, it must be a trick, a matter of distracting attention, and once you know what you’re really looking for, the answer is never hard.”

 

How to Size Someone Up

That Edgar Allen Poe sure knew how to size up a guy. Here’s a marvelous quote from his famous short story The Purloined Letter.

The speaker is an eight year old boy who is always winning at a game of marbles where you guess whether the person is holding an odd or even number of marbles in their closed hand. He figured out how his opponents would play based on their astuteness. When asked how he identified the other’s intelligence he replied :

“’When I wish to find out how wise, or how stupid, or how good, or how wicked is any one, or what are his thoughts at the moment, I fashion the expression of my face, as accurately as possible, in accordance with the expression of his, and then wait to see what thoughts or sentiments arise in my mind or heart, as if to match or correspond with the expression.”

Aquarium Shark Regurgitates Arm – 1935

In New South Wales, Australia, thrill seekers pressed against the glass panels of Coogee Aquarium’s shark display as the newly acquired tiger shark writhed in pain and then vomited up a human arm – with a tat of two boxers slugging it out on the soggy flesh. A rope was wrapped around the severed limb.

Police initially thought that the arm belonged to an unlucky swimmer but it was soon revealed to be the limb of  Jim Smith a shady character who ran a sleezy pool hall and had been previously charged for  illegal bookmaking.

Suspects were Reggie Holmes, a successful boat-building businessman and smuggler and his associate, Patrick Brady,  a forger.   Smith had worked dirty deals for Holmes and then made the mistake of blackmailing him. Brady was arrested.

Four days later Holmes tried unsuccessfully to shot himself but the bullet flattened against the bone of his forehead and he was only stunned. Captured by the police he confessed that Brady had killed Smith. The day before the inquest into Smith’s death Holmes was found shot dead in his car. Brady was acquitted and  continued to claim his innocence until he died at the age of seventy one years.

Here’s an interesting coincidence. I drew the picture and guessed what the tat would look like. Then I found the photo of the arm and was happy to see that my guess was pretty good.

Scared to go in the water?

 Shark Attack Tips

Avoid:

  • Fishing boats leaving a trail of fish flesh and blood.
  • Shark food such as dead animals and large groups of fish, seals, or sea lions.
  • High-contrast clothing (orange and yellow)
  • Bling or other shiny jewelry (which may be mistaken for fish scales)
  • Excessive splashing.

Leave the water:

  • At dawn, dusk, and night.
  • If you are bleeding.
  • If something brushes up against you.

Check with the Locals. If you don’t want to meet a shark stay out of its way.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE ATTACKED – If you’re being attacked by a shark, go for the eyes and gills. Kill the killer and cook him up.

 Shark Steaks

Cube 4 shark steaks, put them in a glass pan and marinade them in:

  • Braggs amino acids
  • 1 tsp grated lemon peel
  • ¼  cup lemon juice
  • 1 clove minced garlic
  • 2tsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbl olive oil

Broil
Garnish with Green Onion

Drive stick? or Why I love Donald Westlake

No mystery reader is worth their salt if they haven’t read at least two of Donald Westlake’s Dormunder books and two of his Parker books written under the name of Richard Stark. Of course that’s a dirty trick because you won’t be able to read just two.

Donald Westlake (1933 – 2008) was a brilliant author of over one hundred books. Wikipedia says: Donald Westlake was known for the great ingenuity of his plots and the audacity of his gimmicks. His writing and dialogue are lively. His main characters are fully rounded, believable, and clever.”

About Parker:

“Whatever Stark writes, I read. He’s a stylist, a pro, and I thoroughly enjoy his attitude.”—Elmore Leonard

“Richard Stark’s Parker novels … are among the most poised and polished fictions of their time and, in fact, of any time.”—John Banville, Bookforum”—

“Parker is a true treasure. … The master thief is back, along with Richard Stark.”—Marilyn Stasio, New York Times Book Review”—

About the Dortmunder books – This is what Westlake has to say:

“Those 4 guys in the late 60′s who attacked a jewel merchant on New York’s West 46th St. on the sidewalk, so they could steal his jewel-filled station wagon, which they abandoned 2 blocks later because none of them could drive a stick shift. Where would I be without such people?” – Donald E. Westlake

But one of my favorite Westlake books ever is a stand-alone. If you pick it up, plan on uncontrollable laughter and staying up all night reading.